


give and take

by xighs



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Ocean Sex, Older Armin Arlert, One Shot, POV Annie Leonhart, Pining, Porn With Plot, Smut, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:47:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29635536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xighs/pseuds/xighs
Summary: "Do not die tomorrow," is what she makes him promise."Do not die today," he returns her words tenfold.She can be good at words too. "Give me a reason to live."Armin's eyes darken, but other than that his expression is almost unreadable, consciously guarded. The same thing can't be said about his body language. He thumbs at her hip bone. "Only if you want it."Annie feels her cheeks warm but doesn't care. She gives a nod so slight she thinks he hadn't noticed. Watches him let out a held breath as the ephemeral moment passes.She doesn't wait.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart
Comments: 18
Kudos: 124





	give and take

**Author's Note:**

> takes place in chapter 132 before confronting eren in the rumbling! annie's disheartened when they chose to go to odiha instead of her hometown, liberio. 
> 
> while the team prepares for tomorrow's war annie slips off into the shadows

She thinks of returning to him at the path where all subjects of Ymir cross together after death. Maybe they won't really be dead after all— this path of theirs serving as a pseudo purgatory from the true end of life. 

Maybe this is a curse for their race. Dormant continuity that transcends mere mortality. But if it means that her father still lives on beyond this world, is it truly a curse— even then?

They will be reunited together there if not here.

She unstraps her obsolete gear, 4 years behind in the technological advancement that took place during her chrysalis slumber. Shakes off her remaining garments, dropping them all to the sand. These worldly things that have no place to where she's going next.

The ocean is freezing this time of night and gooseflesh start to rise above her half-submerged thighs. She looks down at herself absentmindedly. She should feel something. 

Cold?

She feels nothing. 

She takes one step further as the waves lap welcomingly for her, almost eager for her surrender.

A voice behind. Subdued at first then sharper. A word being repeated— _"Annie,"_ her name.

 _No,_ she thinks. Do not tempt her to look back. She cannot look back now. 

A touch to her forearm. Her name being said again by a voice she tries not to recognize. Doesn't want to recognize. A voice that has helped make those years of half-consciousness less lonely. A voice she has grown to take comfort in, to look forward to. 

A regular visitor. A friend.

Funny she still considers him a friend after everything she had done to him. Funny he still kept coming back to her time and time again.

She is pliant in his hands. Limp, defeated, not a fight left in her as he turns her. Two of his hands on her shoulders, firm. _"What—"_ His breath catches. _"—are you doing."_

He is beautiful under the waning moon. Older, wearier, panic-stricken in his current expression— but beautiful.

Let her be the one who dies first before him. Let her be the one waiting. 

"Swimming," she says lamely. 

_"Swimming,"_ he repeats. "At this hour?"

She nods, half-hearted. Puts a hand atop of his. "If you'll excuse me—" She pushes one of his hands off and begins to turn.

Armin is two steps ahead of her. "I'm swimming too."

She freezes. Peers at him from the side. "So you can keep an eye on me." 

"I don't know," it is not a question but he answers her like one. "Do I need to keep an eye on you, Annie?"

She's so tired. She surges backwards deeper into the water. "Let's swim then."

He makes no move, eyes locked on to Annie for a moment, calculating. Then heads back towards the edge of the shore. 

She watches him unbutton his shirt then makes for his pants. They fall next to hers in a pile. When he plunges back into the ocean for her he is only in his briefs.

They swim leisurely in silence until she breaks away from him. Submerges her head underwater for a moment then resurfaces back up. Armin tails close by, observing her every movement.

She repeats it, diving down under once more but taking longer for her to reemerge every time she does. Mindless enough it doesn't gauge a significant reaction from him.

This time, she kicks back further away from his vicinity. 

This time, she thinks of her father and Liberio when she sinks.

She holds her breath until she cannot hold no longer, coughing out bubbles and breathing in water flooding lungs. Lower and lower she lets herself drop, lets her life slip, until hands are thrusted upon her, hooking under her arms to lift her back up.

She chokes out saltwater, lungs burning, ears blocked and ringing with pressure— or something more like anger. _"I was close—"_ She thrashes in his arms, voice like scraped nails, _"Why would you— how could you—"_ Her eyes sting in her desperation as he turns her in his embrace. She has to get away from him, as far as possible but he won't let her. He won't let her.

 _"Annie, please,"_ it comes out as a sob, _"Annie, stay."_ When she beats against his chest he takes it strong in his resolve, stronger than she'd remembered him all those years ago and she hates it— hates how he's grown, hates how everything has changed—

How _their plan_ has changed.

 _"We shouldn't have turned back,"_ she rasps, shoulders shaking. _"We could've still made it to Liberio if we hadn't turned back,"_ her voice strains. All her efforts put in vain.

 _"I'm sorry, Annie,"_ he says into the crown of her head. He cannot say anything more.

 _"I promised him I'd return,"_ she murmurs into his neck as he pulls her close as if afraid she'd come apart again if he lets go. _"I promised."_

Silence falls upon them once more as heartbeats steady. His hand rubs soothingly at the small of her back as they float to the ebb and flow of the tide. Armin and the comfort he brings. This beautiful boy. 

She thinks about how much she has taken from him, from this world, and thinks this must be what they call karma. 

"I want to see him," she breaks the silence. 

He pulls back so he could look into those faraway eyes of hers. "You will," he says. "But not now."

Slowly, almost delicately he takes her hand in his. Places it to his heart. "Be with me now."

Her hand on his chest curls. _Let her be the one who dies first before him. Let her be the one waiting._

 _"Armin,"_ she says, breathless. "Let me go."

It happens all at once. Lips crashing upon lips. The rush pushing him to her, the exasperation, the longing. He finds her neck and sucks against the tender skin there. She hears herself moan, fingers grasping on to the wet strands of his matted blonde locks. 

_"Not like this,"_ she whispers harshly.

 _"Then how,"_ he whispers just as harsh, almost daring. He treads lower down, mouthing her sternum, the swell of her chest, till he meets the bud of her nipple. _"Tell me how."_

Where was that innocent boy she once knew?

She wraps a leg around this new man as she pushes his face against her breast. His mouth works heavy on her, tongue merciless. Her body melts into him but her mind is screaming _stop._

Is this another thing she will take from him?

Before long he has her gasping, _"I can't take it, I can't take it,"_ but _oh,_ his head is underwater now licking against her folds as she writhes against his mouth— he comes back up for air, her name on his lips the first thing he utters. 

Her body moves at its own accord, bruising him in a kiss. Against him she whispers, "I can't take anything more from you." _Karma,_ she doesn't say.

Armin thumbs the fresh dews of tears at the corner of her eyes, "Then _give."_

She hates it— the weight of his words. And the mouth that follows that sears kisses like fire against raw skin. His arms around her waist hold her flush against him and in between them she feels him grow hard. 

She pulls back to meet his eyes, searching for the boy from her memory. There is a familiar softness there that remains amidst the hard planes of his current age. Her hand slides from neck to chest to abdomen, muscles lean but defined. She feels him shiver against her touch.

"Do not die tomorrow," is what she makes him promise.

"Do not die today," he returns her words tenfold.

She can be good at words too. "Give me a reason to live."

Armin's eyes darken, but other than that his expression is almost unreadable, consciously guarded. The same thing can't be said about his body language. He thumbs at her hip bone. "Only if you want it."

Annie feels her cheeks warm but doesn't care. She gives a nod so slight she thinks he hadn't noticed. Watches him let out a held breath as the ephemeral moment passes.

She doesn't wait.

Her hands move first before his, hooking into his waistband, setting him free. Something throbs in between her legs as she feels him, brings him close to her stomach. Pumps him.

Armin groans, low and guttural, completely at her mercy. One hand wrapped around him, the other trailing up, familiarizing herself with this new man's body once more.

She has a lot to catch up.

His thigh jerks outward and she latches onto it in a grind, rolling her hips languidly against him.

 _"Annie,"_ he grunts. 

"Mmh," she shifts higher in the water, her groin now against his. She slides herself up against his length, thumb still toying with his head. _"Annie!"_ His voice rips through the night air, fingers digging into her waist.

Her free hand strokes his cheek. "This colour looks good on you," she taunts. Dustings of red bloom from his face down to neck, lingering near his chest where the hue spreads faint. _"Ah—"_ He wraps his own hand around hers. Aligns himself to her, head teasing in. 

She melts into his touch, aching for him. She grinds down instinctively and his entire head enters in. She lets out an airy moan that turns more vocal once she feels him thrust up without warning. _"Armin!"_ She cries, legs wrapping around him. She feels his girth all around her, filling her up. Takes a moment to steady her breathing as she eases against him.

 _"So good, Annie,"_ he kisses her forehead, her brow, her cheek, _"you're so good,"_ he kisses her lips chaste.

He moves against her steady and her fingernails snag along the striations of his back as he does. When he retreats far enough for her to whine at the emptiness he leaves he thrusts back into her heat once more, keeping her on edge.

When did he learn how to do this?

It does not matter now. She does not want release just yet. Wants to prolong it.

 _"Armin,"_ she breathes, staring into deep blue irises once more. So much more vibrant than her own, and within them a level of depth and perception her dull, pale ones could ever comprehend or even hold. 

She shouldn't feel so hurt. Heroes shine brighter than villains after all.

 _"I'm sorry,"_ she says, belated apology coming out sudden, unbidden, _"I'm sorry for everything."_

He makes a strangled noise, deep in his throat, grabs her face with his free hand and kisses her fiercely as he makes love to her. Water crashes sharp against their movements above, ripples colliding with their bare skin. _"I know,"_ he murmurs gently against her lips, _"I know."_

She has her arms thrown around his neck while his hands grasp her bottom, squeezing her cheeks. Between the incoherent gasps of _please_ and _yes_ she faintly hears Armin utter a new chant. A stammer of the vowel _I_ following with—

Her body trembles, nearing her high. She feels a hand snake up her back, thumb smoothing the blade of her shoulder in comforting circles, kisses peppering against the underside of her jaw. _"Annie, I—_ " There it is again. He is about to say the rest and when he does, _"Annie, I love you—"_ She lets go all at once.

A high-pitched cry escapes her throat as she rides to Armin's stuttering hips. His voice is thick as he groans, her stomach pooling with his warmth inside. Their breaths mingle as they pant against each other, sated and spent. 

_"I'm sorry,"_ he says this time, for saying something so bold.

She quiets him in an impassioned kiss, hoping that will suffice. She does not trust her voice to say it back— not yet. His hands make a home on her neck as they tuck underneath her jaw. When he kisses her back, it is the sweetest he has ever kissed her so far. As gentle towards her as he had been back in their childhood together.

He promises not to die tomorrow.

She'll return the words once he comes back to her.

**Author's Note:**

> wanted aruani ocean sex so bad so i had to create the content i WANT TO SEE during finals week in uni :,)
> 
> had to cap it to a minimum 2k words bcs i was cutting it real close omg


End file.
